"Suppose a man were wounded by an arrow, and when the surgeon arrived, he said to him, "Don't pull out this arrow until I know who shot it, what tree it comes from, who made it, and what kind of bow was used." Certainly the man would die before he discovered the answers. In the same way, if you say you will not be a monk unless I solve all the questions of the world, you are likely to die unsatisfied."
Majjhima Nikaya
Well, it's been awhile since I posted more spiritual meanderings, so here goes.
Last time I brought up the Divine, I was attempting to get back to the roots of the traditon I was raised in, Roman Catholicism. This was kicked off by reading some Joseph Campbell and doing some yoga and a realization that I really did like some things about being Catholic. The meditative aspect of the rituals and symbols was giving me some peace, and the specific Church I was going to provided a great experience, even so much so that my non-Christian leading lady was enjoying it and being moved by it. I went because I wanted to pick up a spiritual path again.
But once again the questions and doubts arose. I was having serious issues with the idea of getting married in the Church and being forced to drag up the details of my previous marriage and my lady's as well for the approval/disapproval of a hierarchy consisting of people we'd never met before. And the more I saw right-wing Christians in the media spreading judgement and fear instead of the love and compassion that is supposed to be the nature of Divinity, the more I just wanted to wash my hands of the whole thing. I think Christianity used to be about one's personal relationship with Jesus Christ/God, but now it has become a rallying point for conservative politics and it's goal has become legislating a certain morality onto the rest of the country, including people who don't share those beliefs.
And then I heard on NPR about a former Pentecostal preacher who was excommunicated from his church because he stopped believing and preaching in Hell and started preaching an inclusive Gospel. He started his own church, and everyone is welcome to accept the love of God without this idea of a loving beneficial God that will throw you into eternal hellfire for eternity of you don't believe every literal word of a 2500 year old book. The pews are full of every ethnicity and sexuality and is regularly visited by Buddhist monks and folks from other faiths. And I thought "YES!" That's what it's supposed to be about. Sadly, any expression of a love that pure is considered the fringe of Christian belief. And it's not keeping butts in the pews; without the fear of eternal torment this new church is really struggling with staying afloat. It seems that without Hell the whole system just falls apart.
How about a path where you love the Divine instead of fearing Him?
So I've been questing around again, and meanwhile several friends have remarked of my bent towards "extreme moderation" as Franklin put it. I've always been able to see all sides of an argument, been slow to anger, respectful of others' spirituality, and tried to live in moderation, a Middle Way if you will. I look for the good in others and try to find common ground. Someone very special suggested I look into Buddhism, considering all these traits. So I did.
I found everything I've always believed, how I've always tried to act, and goals for my life that I've always wanted in the writings of the Dalai Lama, Ajahn Chah, and others. With an openness renewed by Campbell's explanations of mythology and spirituality, I went to my first Buddhist event last Monday, a discussion of a book by the spiritual leader of the Rameshori Budddhist center here in Atlanta. Then my lady and I checked out the regular Sunday service at the center, which was actually replaced by a day workshop on the power of prayer. It made me realize how much Ive always struggled with prayer, never knew what to say or how to say it, other than the things I learned by rote. But suddenly I felt so at home, spiritually, somewhere in a way that I've never experienced.
For the first time, when I think about the spiritual path I'm on, I am smiling. Actually, I've been smiling most all of the time since Sunday. I'll tell you more about why next time.
Cheers!
B.
9 years ago
